An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her,and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm,all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax,and works with willing hands...She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household...She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy...Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land...Strength and dignity are her clothing,and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom,and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently,but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands,and let her works praise her in the gates.

You know how some people just seem to need more help with, well, life than others? It appears that I am such a person. Which is why I am so very grateful on a daily basis that some small number of years ago on this day, there was this beautiful baby girl was born in Mobile, AL. She is Daddy's girl to a large degree, not least in that she looks like him with those beautiful eyes. She was raised a country girl in Choctaw County, AL. I think she could probably ride a horse about the same time she could walk. She has simple tastes: loves to cook, to sing & play music, to study her Bible, to serve others. Mostly she wants to be in the background of life.

After high school, off she went to the University of Alabama for college. Her second year there, this rather odd dude transferred there from out of state, and moved in with some of her neighbors. They began hanging out & discovered that they shared a love for good music, football, basketball, softball, grilling, and other things. Went on a date. Then another. This June 2, she will have been married to him...to me...for 25 years.

She received a bachelor's degree in accounting from Alabama, which is typically a top 20 accounting program in the nation. In the nation. A very impressive degree to obtain. She then was underemployed to help put the oddball dude through graduate school. His M.A. program became a Ph.D. program.

Then it was off to Indiana for a couple years. A beloved son was born there. Another move to Hattiesburg, MS 20 years ago this coming July. A treasured daughter was born here. Amazing spiritual growth for the hubby; less for her, because she needed less. 7 years on staff with the faculty ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. Great challenges...

Illness--particularly 2 go-rounds with cancer for the hubby, financial struggle, financial success, job changes for both of them, a child moving out of the home, with the 2nd to follow this August, international mission trips--both with and without the hubby.

And through it all, a solid, steady faith and love for family and friends, reflected through those beautiful eyes and those tender, hard-working hands.

I, among men, am most blessed. Today is Lisa's birthday. Join me in thanking God for her, and praying for her, won't you? A thousand years of being thankful for her would not be sufficient for me...

Happy Birthday, Lisa! I love you! And I am so very blessed to walk this road together with you...and am absolutely a better man, a better husband, a better father, a better professor, and a better follower of Christ because of you.

Selah.

Aldous Huxley on the passage of time...

..."well, there seems to be plenty of it." (Doors of Perception) He was utterly wrong about that. In fact, he was literally tripping on acid when he wrote it, which is the only way one could make such a nonsensical statement. Let me illustrate...

Makeup. A collaborative effort with a friend because of the occasion.

New shoes. Apparently a requirement. And powerfully uncomfortable based on the early exit polls. But still worn.

New hairdo. Also a collaborative effort with a friend. Sometimes this requires a trip to the stylist, but not today.

Dress. Frequently a new one is required. But not this time. The gorgeous one from the closet works.

Getting the nails done. Another requirement.

Flowers. On the lapel for him...on the wrist for her.

The borrowed car. A very fine corvette. Which made your humble correspondent a bit nervous...only, they were only in it for a short ride, which leads to...

The pictures. A requirement.

The limo. Several classmates sharing the limo to dinner, and after.

It was...*drum roll*...Senior PROM NIGHT! (the crowd roars & the Dads are nervous...)
Anne left a bit ago with her date. A nice young man whom I once coached when he played jv football. He looked nice in his tux.

But (in the words of Frank Zappa), Great Googly-Moogly! She looked gorgeous!! (said the totally unbiased Dad...) My cell phone pics do NOT do her justice. Again, he looked nice, but she looked beautiful. And the heck of it is this: she looks beautiful 1st thing in the morning with no makeup, hairdo, nail job, new shoes, nice dress,...(inherits this trait from her Mother) But she sure looked gorgeous all styled for Prom.

I remember a couple of proms 32 & 33 years ago. This other young lady back then also looked gorgeous; I looked well, like a beach bum hippy-wannabe burnout. We went to both jr. & sr. prom together. Jr. year as an official couple, sr. year as, well, a former couple I guess. Last I heard, she's a preacher's wife out in west TX somewhere.

Earlier, while watching them pull out of my driveway, I was struck again with the utter brevity of time and the amazing speed of its passage.

Got little girls @ your house? Who draw on the walls & play dress up & make messes & watch the same ol' Disney movies on a daily basis? Who want to "help" cook? Who sing loudly? Who nap on occasion & who don't sometimes when they're supposed to?

Enjoy them. I know it's very difficult to do so at times. I also know that it seems now & then like they'll never grow out of whatever stage they're in @ the moment. But make it a very, very high priority to enjoy them. Laugh with them, make messes with them, watch the movies, sing the songs,...do it all.

Because in what'll seem to you like another day or two, some dude will be pulling out of your driveway with your treasure in the right seat all dolled up for her senior prom. And you'll wonder where the time went...

bb

p.s. - if I can figure how to make pictures go from my phone to my computer to the web, I'll add some shortly. Until then, go enjoy a moment with your little girls...

If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?
Ronnie Van Zant & Lynrd Skynrd, “Freebird”

I’ll cut to the bottom line here. I’m dang tired of hearing about high school classmates dying. Goes with the territory, I s'pose, but I don't like it.

Last week, it was Connie, who was a classmate from early elementary school all the way through HS.

This past weekend, it was Steve, who was a couple of years older than I. We weren’t close friends, but we were in jazz band together one year. Steve played guitar & sang in the coolest rock band in the area in our HS days. Everybody wanted to be part of Myriah, including me. I got the next best thing though—I got to hang out with & befriend the guys in that group. Which made my 5-foot-nothing, insignificant self feel very big & bad & cool. I was better friends with Steve’s younger brother Jeff, who is a very good bass player (also part of Myriah), and who is a USM grad (jazz band, & everything!).

A brief candle; both ends burning. An endless mile; a bus wheel turning. A friend to share the lonesome times; a handshake and a sip of wine. So say it loud and let it ring: We are all a part of everything. The future, present and the past.

Fly on proud bird, you're free at last.
Charlie Daniels, written while enroute to Ronnie Van Zant’s funeral

It’s Jeff that’s been on my mind & in my prayers yesterday & today. He’s having to say the abrupt goodbye to a much-loved brother. Jeff was great fun to play music with, because (a) he is VERY good, and (b) he is a great guy who’s a lot of fun. I still remember him leading us in setting up the parts to the end of “Blackwater” by the Doobie Brothers on a bus trip the jazz band took. By the time we got home, we had it down. He, of course, took the Tom Johnson lead vocal; none of the rest of us could pull that off like he did.

Join me in lifting up my old friend Jeff in prayer as he mourns the sudden loss of his brother Steve, won’t you?

‘Cause I must be travelling on now, there’s too many places I’ve got to see.
Ronnie Van Zant & Lynrd Skynrd, “Freebird”

As their old bandmate Alan wrote on Jeff’s facebook page after quoting Freebird, we’ll always remember Steve. Quite fondly in my case. Which draws my heart toward Jeff in his grief. As I say, please join me in praying for Jeff.

Life’s short. Too short sometimes. Makes you long for the land of the eternal hello, where there’ll be no more pain, sorrow, death, car accidents, illnesses, & such, doesn’t it? Maranatha. Come, Lord Jesus.

Selah,
Mike

Pacing the Cage

I have *long* loved the music & writing of Jimmy Buffett. Some great Friday-afternoon-heading-toward-the-beach music. Some *superb* front-lawn-of-the-fraternity-house music. But also, some songs that just capture a slice of one's soul. Deeply moving and very profound. (aside: if all you know of JB's songs is "Cheeseburger in Paradise" & such, you're really missing out...).

Examples of that latter genre of Jimmy B's music that grab my heart would be songs like "A Pirate Looks at 40" or even more, "He Went to Paris" or one of my favorites, "The Captain & the Kid". (tear jerker alert: he wrote that shortly after his much-loved grandpa passed away...*great* tune! Google the lyrics...and grab a hankie.).

And then there are those lyrics that are, well, poignant & sad. Such as "Pacing the Cage." I find this one deeply moving for different reasons. I know people like this. As Lisa said, these are the words of a man who has done it all and is absolutely empty inside.

So, take a look @ these lyrics. They are awesome, in the true sense of the word: to be struck with awe. I'd say "enjoy," but I really hope you don't actually.

Selah.
bb

Pacing the Cage - Jimmy Buffett
Sunset is an angel weeping
Holding out a bloody sword
No matter how I squint I cannot
Make out what it's pointing toward
Sometimes you feel like you've lived too long
The days drip slowly on the page
And you catch yourself
Pacing the cage

I've proved who I am so many times,
The magnetic strip's worn thin
And each time I was someone else
And everyone was taken in.
Powers chatter in high places
Stir up eddies in the dust of rage
Set me to pacing the cage.

I never knew what you all wanted
So I gave you everything.
All that I could pillage
All the spells that I could sing
It's as if the thing were written
In the constitution of the age
Sooner or later you'll wind up
Pacing the cage

Sometimes the best map will not guide you
You can't see what's round the bend.
Sometimes the road leads through dark places
Sometimes the darkness is your friend.
Today these eyes scan bleached-out land,
For the coming of the outbound stage
Pacing the cage...

He alone who owns the youth, gains the future

I'll come back later to who said this. For now, just ponder it with me as I share about my friend Andrzej. ("Ahn-zhay" more or less; "Andrew" is the gringo version).


Andrzej is a friend of mine from Poland. He was a college professor in the 80s & early 90s. (Math & Computer Science)


But an interesting thing happened. He encountered the claims of Christ for the 1st time, despite having been a church member all of his life. They revolutionized his life, as he trusted Christ fully & completely.


Andrzej eventually joined the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ. Same group I was on staff with for 7 years. He became national director of the campus ministry, and another interesting thing happened. They invited some American professors to Poland. Another huge life change.


Andrzej now directs the faculty ministry of Poland. Let me be clear: his area of ministry responsibility is every university in the country. I've been in Poland three times on mission trips, and worked alongside Andrzej every time. God has given me a love of the country and a particular love for the people. (Aside: the old jokes utterly fail when one meets some actual Polish people and realizes, for example, the literacy rate in Poland is FAR higher than that of the U.S. Know who Copernicus was? Sure you do. Know where he lived? That'd be...Poland. [Andrzej was a professor at the university where Copernicus studied and taught, by the way] Like Chopin's music? Know where he lived & wrote? Poland. Aside from being offensive because they're terribly racist, I find the old jokes *highly* offensive because of friends I've made in Poland. *All* of whom are conversational in at least two languages; most, in three. End of rant)


How I wish you all could've been sitting @ my kitchen table a week & a half ago when Lisa & I were treated to a ministry update of what God is doing in & through Andrzej's ministry to & with professors there! My professor heart soared such that I wound up inviting myself back to Poland for one of their professor conferences in August 2010...(And Andrzej, well, pretty much accepted my self-invitation...) *smile*


Andrzej is really capturing a big vision and putting feet to it. And God is blessing. The work is *crucial* in impacting the country for Christ.


Why? That goes back to the originator of the quote I started with. Adolf Hitler.


Yep. That same Adolf Hitler, who attempted to enslave a nation and the nations in his hemisphere. And came frighteningly close to achieving that. And who created factories of death & destruction the magnitude of which--60 years later--are too horrible to contemplate. I know...I've visited them. Place in the beautiful mountains of south Poland known as Oswiciem, or Auschwitz in German. This is where Hitler started implementing his awful vision.


Now ask yourself: who really does own the youth? And thus the future? In Poland...and in America...the answer is the parents 1st, but during the hugely formative years between 18 & 24, it's college professors, at least in terms of helping shape their thinking and their values.


Join me, won't you, in praying for Andrzej. On behalf of a generation of university students too young to remember the madmen who perfected his lightning war and his death camps on/in their country. Who desperately need to know that there is truth that is real & knowable & worth pursuing & integrating into their life & their studies. And on behalf of professors throughout the country who are brilliant, successful, productive...and empty. Who wonder if another publication or promotion or presentation is really all there is.


May we never see another generation of youth lost to false, Nitschean superman/will to power/morality-free teaching in universities. Both here and in Poland.

The wisest man who ever lived once said the following. The latter part is emblazoned all over university libraries & admin buildings in this country. The first part, of course, is not seen on those same buildings. Here's the entire quote: "“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

Andrzej is all about demonstrating that. And introducing professors and students to the One Who said it. Join me in praying for him and his ministry, won't you?

Selah.
bb

p.s. - Some of you should perhaps become part of Andrzej & Ella's financial support team. Want to know more about that? Hit me w/ an email; I'd be delighted to pass along how that works.

In His Eyes

I saw it again yesterday. One of my favorite things to watch.

The chatter slowed as the time drew near. The music started. The processional began. Reaction was mostly polite lack of immediate interest, combined with more than a little anticipation.

He made his entrance. Stood awkwardly in front of the crowd. More or less made eye contact with a few of them, but looked like he felt very much out of place.

Then it happened. The music changed. A buzz went through the crowd. The doors opened. The crowd turned to look. He strained to see too, though he couldn't at first.

After a moment or two, though, he saw. There she was, on her Daddy's arm. Radiant. Beaming. The bride, made ready for her groom.

As I watched the groom, I knew the exact moment when he could see her. His smiled deepened with a heavy dose of "Wow!!," as his breath left him. For a brief second, composure left him too, but he managed to regain it and to actually breath again. All others in the room disappeared from his vision. He saw only her. His bride.

I love to watch this moment in a wedding ceremony. Oh sure, I'll turn with the others & watch her coming down the aisle with her Daddy. But I always make a point of turning back & watching the groom as he strains to see his bride. Not sure why, but I have 2 guesses.

First, a past tense reason. I recall that nearly 25 years ago I was the groom straining to see his bride. I still recall how that first view took my breath away and how everyone else in the church vanished when I saw her. This still happens when she enters a room, btw.

And second, a future tense reason.

"As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you."
Isaiah 62:5b

"Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
'Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure'— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
And the angel said to me, 'Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.' And he said to me, 'These are the true words of God.'"
Revelation 19:6-9

A day is coming, ladies & gents, when we, the bride of Christ, will enter the presence of the bridegroom. The analogy of an earthly bridegroom falls trememdously short at this point. But it is absolutely awesome to ponder, isn't it? Our heavenly bridegroom rejoicing as we make our entrance?

Perhaps that's why I so very much enjoy watching the guy when the bride enters. It's both a reminder and foreshadowing. I definitely remember. And I can't wait.

Selah.
bb

God's Purposes in this Recession

Just listened to >>this message<< by one of my favorite preachers & writers, John Piper. I love his teaching, even when it zings me. Like this message did. (I listen to him every week via podcast) I've thought about what God might be up to in causing/allowing (your choice of words!) this recession. But as he so often does, Piper says it such that I conclude by going, "yeah, that's way better than anything I was thinking."

Check these purposes out. And then click the link above and go either listen to or read the message (both are available for free there). I have nothing to add, except to again say "wow!" and "ouch!".

(excerpt from his message summarizing his view of some of God's purposes in the recession starts below)

(Some of) God’s Purposes in This Recession
Now what are some of God’s purposes in this recession? I will mention five:

He intends for this recession to expose hidden sin and so bring us to repentance and cleansing.

He intends to wake us up to the constant and desperate condition of the developing world where there is always and only recession of the worst kind.

He intends to relocate the roots of our joy in his grace rather than in our goods, in his mercy rather than our money, in his worth rather than our wealth.

He intends to advance his saving mission in the world—the spread of the gospel and the growth of his church—precisely at a time when human resources are least able to support it. This is how he guards his glory.

He intends for the church to care for its hurting members and to grow in the gift of love.
(excerpt ends)

Give yourself a blessing and a challenge and go read/listen to the whole thing. He unpacks each of these points. It's quite remarkable.

Still pondering.
bb

"Cut along the perforated line..." (medical update)

Great, great visit w/ Dr. Mehran the surgeon this morning. Very encouraging. Here's the deal (this will be quick, since we're waiting on me finishing this one to hit the road for H'burg).

--He does *not* think this is a new metastasis. (remember yesterday? "no evidence of cancer anywhere else"?) This news is very huge...

--He says this is probably an "implantation." Meaning, a cell or two dropped off during the previous surgery and "implanted" @ the site. (This hot spot is at my 1st surgery site, but is *not* inside my lung this time)

--He said it *could* be merely a post-surgery inflamation(!). However, he assigned this a 20% probability, with the other 80% probability that it's an implanted melanoma.

--He recommended waiting 3 months & then re-scanning. If there's still activity @ the site--which he expects--we'll do surgery then. (late May) I quote: "it will be an easy procedure, an easy surgery." He will just extend the cut where the scar is and take the hot spot out (hence the post title "cut along the perforated line"). Again, I quote: "everything will be fine."


In summary, given evidence of more cancerous activity, this is very good news. Unfortunately for my students, I won't even have to miss any more classes for this one. *smile* Dr. Mehran is very confident and reassuring, and was especially so this morning.


Tentative schedule: P.E.T. scan Tues., May 26 (I actually do recognize & greet the now-familiar nurses & techs there..."how's your son doing in pharmacy school?"..."how's that baby?"...*smile*). Appt. w/ Dr. Mehran, Wed. May 27. surgery, Thurs. May 28.


Please see my description of my God in yesterday's post (points down) and note the verses from Isaiah.


Thanks so very much for your prayers & encouragement!!!


With much love and great hope,
Mike

Medical Update/Prayer Request

So...the results of yesterday's P.E.T. scan showed good news & less-good news.

The good news: Only one small spot showed up just outside the lung. No signs of metastatic melanoma elsewhere in my body. Nurse, P.A., & Dr. Homsi all mentioned this.

The less-good news: there is the one spot...It was noticed in the last P.E.T. scan in November, but only barely lit up on the scan. Hence this scan yesterday. This time, it really lit up on the scan.

So, what does this mean?
Glad you asked. Dr. Homsi recommends another surgery along the lines of the previous two. So, I have an appt. w/ Dr. Mehran tomorrow (Wed.) at 8:30. The strong hope/prayer is that Dr. Mehran will agree to operate again. So there's the immediate prayer concern.
I've already received a call from his nurse saying that if he operates (his decision, not hers, of course), it would be on Thurs. Feb. 26. I'd be back out here the Wed. before for cardio function tests, which I passed w/ flying colors last time.

I'll update more later. Briefly, here's where we are emotionally & spiritually:
--God is not surprised, nor is He scared. He is the Alpha & Omega, the first and the last. He knows the end from the beginning, and is mindful that we are but dust. He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or think. He has called me by name; I am His. If He be for me, who can be against me? Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein. Lift up your heads, O gates! And be lifted up, O ancient doors,that the King of glory may come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord, strong and mighty,the Lord, mighty in battle!
(There's more, but that'll do for now...awesome, isn't He??)
--There is still good news here. First, for example, there's *no* evidence that it's spread anywhere new. Still just in the lung. Nowhere else lit up on the P.E.T. scan. Second, again, it's just the one spot. Third, Dr. Homsi said that I was in much worse shape last year. (OK...so that last one is an odd way to find encouragement...I'm reminded of the excellent scene from Monty Python's Holy Grail: "it's only a flesh wound"...*huge grin*)
--Lisa & I are fine, all things considered. I was less bummed this time than previous times. Really!
--So, we're eager to crank up the video surgery tools & get this one out too, should Dr. Mehran agree.
--Both of our bosses are already moving the world to enable us to not worry about missing another day of work tomorrow. (memo to all: when picking a workplace, make sure to pick a great boss!)
--My HS classmate didn't hesitate about inviting us to stay over an extra night. Wanna know what the spiritual gift of hospitality looks like? Come stay @ Diane's with us.
--Our vehicle lender said that his only request was that we NOT worry about having his truck an extra day. And he's already offered it for the surgery too.
--Within an hour, I already had multiple comments & encouraging notes via facebook. Once again, the Body of Christ is doing what it does; "bear one another's burdens & thus fulfill the law" as Paul said. We are most assuredly NOT feeling left alone here!

Thank you so very much for mentioning us in the throneroom of glory! May the One Who sits there enthroned receive all the glory.

Because I am securely in His grip, I close this
With love and hope,
Mike

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God,the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you...: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Isaiah 43:1-3a

Marissa's House

I have long thought that we under-challenge and under-appreciate our teenagers. E.g., I have read that most of the hugely significant culture-changing movements of God began with young people. How arrogant my generation is to view teenagers as totally clueless, inept at life, and always focused on insignificant trivia...*sigh*

Here's what prompts this post. Tomorrow, PCS--the school my children attend(ed)--plays 4 basketball games. JV girls & boys, Varsity girls & boys. So what, you ask?? Here's the answer: the games & festivities accompanying are a fundraiser. So what again?? Don't all schools have fundraisers? Absolutely! But this particular fundraiser is a bit different. It's a fund-raiser to build something. Well, don't all schools raise funds to build? Yep. But this one is raising funds to build an orphanage. In Ethopia.

It's called "Marissa's House." The afternoon's games & festivities are called "Raising the Roof on Marissa's House."

I knew Marissa McGill. An absolutely delightful young lady, age 13. Always smiling. Loved by all. One of those who brightened up a room just by entering it. A close follower of Christ, who took her faith very seriously. Marissa was very interested in and concerned about the many orphans in the world, and in her case, especially the ones in Africa. She had apparently already decided to be a missionary to Africa when she grew up.

Tragically, Marissa was killed in a car accident last summer just after the school year ended. But as in my favorite movie scene (at the end of "The Last Samurai"), I will not focus here on how she died. I will tell you how she LIVED! And believe me, she lived very, very well in her 13 short years.

So, as a tribute to Marissa's life & faith, her parents are raising funds to build an orphanage in Ethopia. Marissa's House.

The fundraiser? Yeah...that's a few different student groups banding together to raise funds & give of their time & money toward seeing Marissa's House become reality. Teenagers, honoring their absent friend and her dream. And in the process, changing present reality for (ultimately) a hundred or so orphan girls in Ethopia.

I'm picking up my t-shirt shortly. I love me some PCS basketball. But tomorrow's games will be almost secondary to me. I'll be picturing this gorgeous, friendly, athletic, competitive, godly young lady who played for the jv girls last year, and who is now living her ultimate dream in glory. I'll also be picturing a bunch of Ethopian children & widows whose lives & living spaces will be vastly improved one day in the near future, all because of the passions of a teenaged girl. And the impact she had on her friends...and teachers...all of whom will be honoring her life by helping build an orphanage in a distant country.

Still think teenagers are clueless, hormone-addled morons? Then come join me @ the PCS games tomorrow afternoon and just watch...

I usually don't cry at high school basketball games. Tomorrow, I 'spect I'll have to make an exception to that, especially when the jv girls come out of the locker room.

Perhaps one day we'll stop under-estimating & under-challenging our teenagers. Personally, I'd love to see my generation have this same type of passion for the Lord and therefore for His children here on earth.

Thanks, Marissa. Can't wait to see your smile again. This world is better because you were in it.

Mike

p.s. - please pray for Ken & Leslie, Marissa's parents. Mercifully, I cannot even imagine their pain these past months. Ultimately, they're fine; but this year of "firsts" is rough. Also, please pray for Gabriel, Marissa's younger brother. This is truly an outstanding family.

>>>Marissa's House Information - CLICK HERE<<<
(note: at the bottom of the home page there's a picture of several folks. Gabriel is on the left, Mom Leslie is next to him, and Dad Ken is on the far right.)

p.s. - Want to be a financial part of building Marissa's House?
Please mail contributions to:
My House Ministries, Inc., Donations
604 Kings Lake Drive
McKinney, TX 75070
** Note on the donation that is for "Marissa's House" **

The next Houston schedule - prayers welcome!!

A Prayer Reminder/Request:

Our next trip to M.D. Anderson is upon us. Your prayers are most welcome and appreciated!!

Here's the Schedule:

Sunday, 2/1 - Lisa & I head out to Houston after church
7.5 hours, or thereabouts.

Monday, 2/2 - All-day, fun-filled testing.
No breakfast , no lunch, no coffee. Luckily, though, I get to ingest the oh-so-tasty CT/P.E.T. contrast solution a couple of times...*sigh* Oh, and there's the IVs. And the bloodwork. And the three separate CT scans. And the P.E.T. scan.
On the plus side, I can tell you with confidence that Monday night's supper will be one of the all-time great meals. Wherever it occurs...

Tuesday, 2/3 - Morning appt. w/ Dr. Homsi, followed by return to H'burg
I think my appt. is at 9:30. We'll head east right afterward, with the intent of making it back for my night class.

The obvious prayer requests are (a) accurate and (b) negative results of all scans & tests. (recall, "negative" in medical speak means "nothing to see here; good news") Safe travel's another good prayer direction. Anne's time staying w/ friends. (etc.)

We'll be staying w/ a high school classmate out in Houston. Our friend's place we've stayed in for all of last year's trips has been sold, which is great news for him! Thus, my HS classmate is very generously opening her place to us.

Car-wise, we'll be driving some friends here's car. Ours would probably make it. Subtract about 150,000 miles, and add about 18 years, and you get from ours to theirs. We like the odds better. *grin* My buddy said "you've got enough to think about without wondering if your car will make it." Thanks, bro!!

So, you see, God's already answering prayers. Here's praying that He continues to do so. I'll keep you posted!

With much love and hope, and with great appreciation,
Mike

Waltzing Across Texas again...(*sigh*)...The next trip to M.D. Anderson looms

FYI, we're off to casa beach bum - west soon. (M.D. Anderson) We'll head out to Houston Sunday, Feb. 1. Monday 2/2 is all-day testing & scans & such. Tuesday 2/3 is the 9:30 appt. w/ Dr. Homsi. Then home in time for night class (hopefully!).

Your prayers are most welcome for continued good medical news.
This trip is more or less routine, although such trips will never again be "routine" for us...*sigh*

Let me clarify the phrase "all-day testing." I start with my first part @ 9:00 in the morning. We'll leave MDA around 6:00 that evening. In between will be bloodwork, IV installation (there's a good time!), a P.E.T. scan, three different ct scans (complete with all three delivery mechanisms for ct contrast solution: one is by oral ingestion, a second is by IV). There's also the potential for an M.R.I.; I can't recall if that's on the list this time or not. (As I told my family practice guy here, I think I've had one of every test known to man except for a pap smear...*grin*) Sometimes all of this is done in one section of the clinic; often it's not. Sometimes "not" includes a long ride on the patient cart from one part of the clinic to another. Oh, and there's the waiting for each test and for the contrast solution to work...

Emotionally what happens to me on such trips?
Well, I've only had the one since my last surgery, which was August 29. What that means is, we've been out to MDA once as a "healthy" patient, and ten times either knowing I have cancer or suspecting I have cancer. Twice for surgery; twice for high-dose IL-2 cycles. So, frankly, I'm still deciding what it's like to go there like this. As I say, a trip to MDA will never be routine. (to start with, there's the 7.5 hour drive...)

God graciously reveals Himself every time we walk in. (Isaiah 41 & 43 come to mind..."Do not fear, for I have redeemed you"...."when you pass through the waters I will be with you and the flames will not consume you." What great promises!). Sometimes through people, sometimes through a heightened awareness of His presence, sometimes through circumstances. So there's that.

Still, my blood pressure typically spikes upward upon walking in. As my brother Jim & I concluded this summer, one doesn't go through those doors for a sprained ankle...So to say there's no fear is to tell a lie in my case. (Again, your prayers are most welcome) I'm not consumed by fear there, but it's always not far beneath the surface, lurking.

One of the great blessings of our 2008 is a reminder of the sinfulness of living in the realm of "what if" and of the joy of living in the present tense. A cancer patient must force himself or herself to not live in the realm of constant focus on and fear of what if. "What if the test results are bad?" "What if there's pain?" (there will be...) "What if I don't get to live out all of my dreams?" (etc.) The land of "what if" will make you crazy, but more, it will rob you of the joy of right now. Time with your spouse & your kids will be robbed of its innate joy. Fear will keep you from being productive at home and at work, and will also rob you of sleep.

So, I'm not walking in there focused on "what if." My Lord has the "what ifs" covered. Again, though, the fear of "what if" is real and becomes palpable inside MDA. I fight it with prayer, the Word, conversation, and a really twisted sense of humor. All are fairly vital. (Aside: a day like Monday 2/2 is oh-so-ripe with twisted sense of humor moments...can't wait! *smile*)

But the real comfort in walking into MDA, even for "routine" tests & scans, is knowing that our names have been on the lips of the saints of God, and are echoing around the throneroom of heaven right then. I absolutely cherish the prayers of the Body of Christ, and will always be convinced that I am alive to write this because of them. Because of you. Do not every take intercessory prayer lightly, my friends. I certainly don't. Remember, God is not up in heaven wringing His hands in worry, wondering how this (or any other situation!) will turn out; therefore, pray with boldness & confidence. He may or may not answer the way you and I pray, but He will always answer, and He is always good. Even when His goodness seems veiled at times.

And know that amidst all of the jokes & attempts at profundity found in this space, YOU...ARE...GREATLY...LOVED & APPRECIATED!!

Thanks for standing in the gap for us!

Mike

Rejoice IN IT!

James & his dog Beau just rolled out of my driveway heading back to Oxford for another semester of pharmacy school.

With them rolled a significant piece of my heart.

He had a long break; over 5 weeks! And that just absolutely flew by. Time seems to do that often these days; the breaks & visits are never long enough.

Next August, it'll be both James and Anne rolling out of my driveway headed off to college. I'm in total denial and refuse to ponder it very much.

Got little ones around w/ dirty diapers? Young'uns who sometimes don't sleep when they're supposed to? Struggles w/ spelling words, science projects, book reports, summer reading & such?

Here's some cold, hard reality for you. The days will absolutely zip past you if you're not careful. When it's yours pulling out of the driveway, you'll find yourself amazed at how quickly s/he went from dirty diapers to driving off to college. It'll seem like just a week or two, trust me.

My challenge to you...to all of us...is to really seriously ponder this biblical concept: THIS is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad IN IT.

Make a conscious effort to live in the present tense, enjoying the moments, even when it's not easy. Though time has a wonderful white-washing effect, I do truly recall sleepless nights & dirty diapers & book report arguments & last-minute science projects & such. I know those moments are hard to "rejoice in." But again, my challenge from scripture is to find a way to rejoice, even on days when you don't really feel like it. As one of my favorite theologians Gary Shows says, when you don't feel like praising God, start praising God & keep doing so until you feel like praising God. (paraphrased & re-applied to raising kids)

Enjoy every stage w/ your kids! Even if it's hard work to do that at times. (it will be). Even if it seems to be purely an act of the will & not an act of desire. With all of the physical, mental, & emotional challenges of raising children, on balance I've enjoyed every stage w/ mine. For me, the hardest stage is this one...the one that involves "Aight, Dad...I love you...see you at Spring Break if not before..." followed by a car cranking & pulling away.

Yet again, here's another life moment that makes me totally long for the land of the eternal hello. I totally dig where my son is educationally, mentally, spiritually, etc. I'm so very proud that he's doing quite well in a program that I absolutely couldn't handle. Because such a large piece of my heart is there, I wear my Ole Miss stuff with great pride, for my baby boy is there. (Some of you will get to experience your kids attending a college that's not yours...trust me--if you love your kids, this will not be a hard transition at all.)

My only problem...and it's a BIGGIE just now...is that 4.5 hours from now, he'll be pulling in at HIS place. Which means he'll be 4.5 hours away from MY place. Which just creates massive suction...(despite the stuff in the previous paragraph.)

So I'll be at the "Theology for the Average Dude" series tonight. And I'll be worshipping & grooving on the presence of my Lord. All the while, missing the stew out of my little boy who just left.

Your prayers are most welcome. And if yours are still at your place, make it a top priority in 2009 to enjoy their presence at whatever life stage they are right now. Live in the present tense, and remember, this is the day that the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in IT.

Both excited about and missing James,

bb

p.s. - on re-reading, this is a bit of a whiny entry...I'd apologize if I were sorry for it. But I'm not; it's my heart at this moment. I'll say this: Please focus on the challenge & not on the whining by the old dude.

Who are you listening to?

"You'll always sink...always...if you only listen to the voices of the circumstances around you."
John Piper


The above comes in an amazing sermon on the value of memorizing Scripture. The message is found >>here<<. Go there & click "listen" & listen to the 1st part. He quotes several passages of Scripture, stringing them into a wonderful 15 minute sermon in & of itself.


And thus came my latest challenge to take back up Scripture memory. I've been working on Eph 2:10 & 1 Samuel 3:10. I also want to memorize some passages.


Doing this creates a huge temptation for pride, which seems to be one of my uglier besetting sins. Join me in prayer about this, won't you? For motivation, discipline, & humility.

And join me in Scripture memory. There are few guarantees, but here's one: you will NOT regret this particular activity. Rock-solid guarantee.

You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
yet they are more than can be told.
Psalm 40:5 (ESV)
(Piper & his wife have claimed this one as their marriage verse this year. Good one for that purpose!)

Yours for knowing & showing the Word,
bb

2 questions

So, yesterday morning, we had a guest preacher. Missionary who works @ Kiev Theological Seminary in Ukraine. Very challenging!

Here are 2 questions he asked. I've heard them before, but somehow they grabbed my soul this time.

What are you doing with your life that's making a difference for the Kingdom of God?

What do you want written on your tombstone?

The first one's going to cause me to ponder for a while...perhaps & hopefully all year. The second one evokes 2 thoughts. First, I'd like mine to say something besides "He had cancer, loved college football, & was occasionally funny." Second, I'd like it to say something like Mr. Ragains said yesterday morning: "His life mattered to others."

BTW, Mr. Ragains & his wife went to the mission field at the age of 57! Been in his career (worship pastor @ a church) for 35 years prior to that. They've been in Kiev for 6-7 years now, leading a church planting program there that's training young men to plant churches among the unchurched in Ukraine.

Maybe...hopefully...the Lord's not finished with the Madarises just yet in terms of missions...

Have you ruled yourself out of mission work? (short- or long-term) Again, this guy quit his job, sold his house & cars, and flew across the pond to stay when he was 57 years old. What's more, when he left, his mother had cancer. (She has since passed away) They have 2 adult children.

So, what was that excuse again, Madaris?

As I ponder, those 2 questions, combined w/ Mr. Ragains' life & work beg another question:

How big is your...my...God?

Join me in prayer that we would all change our tombstone inscriptions this year as we invest our lives in things that impact the Kingdom of God and thus the world. The list is virtually endless. Let's get on it!

selah.
bb

My 2 theme verses for the year

Happy New Year, all! Here's my own 2 verses that I'm praying for myself this year. Won't you join me?

And the Lord came and stood, calling as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” And Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant hears.”
I Samuel 3:10

Pray for ears to hear. The context for this passage is that Samuel had heard the Lord calling multiple times before, and had mistaken the voice for someone else. It's my prayer this year that I--and others!--will clearly recognize when the Lord is speaking to us.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10

An incredible verse found in an incredible passage. (your blog homework: read Ephesians 2:1-10) Just ponder with me: we are crafted by God to be who we are. Amazing! But there's more; He's not finished with the shaping & molding yet...we are still works in progress. My pastor speaks of an "already/not yet" component to the kingdom of God. I think the concept applies here too. We're already shaped & created, but we're not completed works yet. And then the deal about God preparing works for us to do...VERY freeing, isn't it? To realize that God Himself has already prepared works for me to do...Now that, amigos, gives great confidence!

So there are my 2 life passages for this year. Just so you know...

Selah,
bb

p.s. - I'd write more, but I'm off to eat a bagel w/ Lisa at the downtown old-school bagel shop...*smile*

My Heritage in Words & Pictures

Was just rootin' around in my office @ home & re-discovered some pix my cousin Wanda gave us all a few family reunions ago. It strikes me that my regular reader ; ) may not have seen these. But even if you have, much of who I am is defined by these people...

This is a not-so-great picture of one of the greatest ladies I have ever known: Martha Ferguson Madaris, better known as "Mattie"...better known to me as "Grandma." Hers was not a particularly easy life, but you'd never heard that from her. What a lady!

I have no idea who the handsome, short, blonde guy is...*smile* Let's just say you've met him...Can you tell that Dad, Jim & I used the same barber?

This is a superb pic of Charlie & Mattie, my grandparents. This was taken not long before Charlie died. Change the 'do, & this is how I remember Mattie looking for the last 20 years or so of her life. Only smiling or laughing would've been the common facial thing...

Charlie, Mattie, & their young'uns, ca. 1955. The very dashingly handsome gent 2nd from the right is who my son is named after...he's my son's grandpa, my dad, James. Gotta love the hairstyles & dresses, huh? *smile* Uncle Don, Aunt Daisy, Aunt Margaret, & Aunt Frances are the only ones still with us here. Just had lunch w/ Margaret & Frances when I was in FL before Christmas. Frances' son Gary is a year younger than I, and was one of my best friends growing up. We roomed together @ Bama, as did our Moms! (I've always thought that is pretty cool) Gary helped me come to know the Lord and helped me meet Lisa...other than that, he hasn't been all that important in my life... *smile*

Charlie--Grandpa--was a sawmill guy. He's the swarthy gent in this pic.

This is Charlie & some of his siblings. Charlie died when I was 1, but the laugh you see here (front lower left) is in line with what I've heard about him. I never met John Henry, but I do remember Jessie & Lena coming to a number of family gatherings. There was another brother named Perry (whom I met a time or two) and another couple of siblings as well. But I've always loved this picture of Grandpa. That laugh (shared w/ his wife Mattie too) was passed on down to their 8 children. And--I hope--to me and to my children too.

An earlier pic of Charlie & Mattie and their kids. The movie-star-handsome guy in the middle of the back row is my Dad. I always wished I had inherited more of his looks...oh well...

Charlie & Mattie as newly-weds just after the first World War.

The young doughboy near the end of WWI. 2 of his sons and 3 sons-in-law fought in the next world war. In this one, Charlie was a cook in France on a combat unit, and was also an expert marksman.

I love this one too even though it's rather poignant. The young teenage girl on the right is Mattie. Also in this one are her Dad, her little sister Pearl (whom I remember quite well), and her little brother Tom, whom I also remember quite well. You'll note the absence of a Mom. Remember when I said Mattie's life wasn't easy? Her mother, Frances, suffered a mental breakdown shortly before this pic was taken, and spent the rest of her days in the state mental hospital near Tuscaloosa. Thus, around age 12, Mattie went from "girl" to "grownup" in a hurry. She became the primary raise-er of Tom & Pearl. I cannot imagine being the primary caregiver of 2 little kids at age 12...And yet, nobody ever heard her complain. About anything! (Though he died before I was born, I've heard that her Dad was a great guy w/ a great faith as well. One of my aunts remembers late in his life hearing him sing the great hymns of the faith loudly just as he was relaxing by himself.) She was a remarkable lady whom I still miss hard, especially around Christmas. Hers was a life--and faith--that mattered greatly to many. I hope I grow into displaying more of her traits...

It goes on back farther, though I don't have pix. About 70-80 years before this last pic was taken, an ancestor named Abner McGehee was led to Christ by a circuit-riding Methodist preacher named Hope Hull. Mr. Hull discipled Abner in the faith, and it mattered greatly. Abner taught his kids the glory & grandeur of the Gospel. When the Civil War cost Abner his house & his farm & his fortune? Willingly ascribed to God's providence, and accepted in the uncomplaining manner that I knew in his descendant Mattie and in her children.

If you ever find yourself driving north on the interstate through central Alabama just south of Montgomery, you'll be reminded of Mike Madaris' family Christianity. You'll notice an exit or two for a rural area called "Hope Hull." (Last time I was there, they were about to build a large car manufacturing there, though it's still fairly rural.) That community used to be known in the 1830s as "McGehee's Switch." After the huge impact the preacher had on Abner, the patriarch of McGehee's Switch, he renamed the community after the one who had proclaimed the Gospel to him. Personally, every time I see the "Hope Hull" exit off the interstate, it chokes me up. It reminds me of my oh-so-deep spiritual roots and godly heritage. And it challenges me to continue trying to pass the legacy on.

And now you've seen some Madaris family pix & heard just a smidge of our shared story. Been thinking much lately about the legacy I inherited as I think through my goals for the new year.

Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah. For you, O God, have heard my vows; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

Psalm 61:4-5

bb

(p.s. - I have a very rich heritage on the other side of the family too...Stay tuned...)

Some left over whittling...

There's a great scene in The Music Man that captures a day like today for me. The older gent is sitting around, & his wife begins fussing at him for not doing anything (note: that getting fussed at part does not apply to me...*smile*). He looks up & says something like "You're wrong, woman...I'm a busy man! I've got some whittlin' left over from this morning..."

So, here's some left over whittling...in no particular order. Enjoy! (or something...)

1. Among the many utterly cool things about teaching as a career, days off @ Christmas is right up toward the top. That plus the huge paycheck...

2. James & I are heading out to Dallas for the Cotton Bowl next week! He was offered some tix by a buddy, only to discover that the "offer" meant "I'll sell you some tix"...oh well...We're going to enjoy this immensely!

3. Regrettably, #2 means that we won't be able to watch the Sugar Bowl. Let there be no doubt that I hope my Tide delivers a beatdown on the Utes. And that I expect that this will be a pretty tough game.

4. I am very excited about the Christmas Eve service @ church tonight, although I'm not thrilled to not be with my family during it. (I'll be doing my tech duties). Y'all should come, if you're in the H'burg area: 6:00 p.m., & it won't last very long.

5. Last night's bowl game was--as expected--a great game between two very good teams (TCU v. Boise St.). I enjoyed it immensely, although James' dog Beau cuddled up on me & made me go to sleep for a good part of the 3rd qtr & the early part of the 4th. (enjoyed that immensely too!)

6. Just a small amount of Christmas shopping left today--stocking stuffers, & not many of them. I'm rather impressed with myself, though I did most of my shopping by proxy. Note carefully: I did decide on the gifts to be purchased!

7. There's not a good football game on today/tonight. Notre Dame v. Hawaii = 2 mules fighting over a turnip, to quote the late great Lewis Grizzard. My only connection to this game is the hope that Notre Dame keeps their bowl streak alive. That's a losing streak, dating back years & years. Favorite stat: 85 teams have won a bowl game since Notre Dame has! Is this a great country, or what? ; )

8. I'm going to spend considerable time staring at my Christmas tree today. And remembering. I won't reach for a forced, strained religious imagery here; to me the decorated Christmas tree emphasizes the family part of the holiday.

9. I'm not offended when someone wishes me "Happy Holidays." I trust they're not offended when I wish them "Merry Christmas."

10. I thinking of continuing my home-office throwaway-fest. Badly needed. Of course, staring at the Christmas tree & napping with the dogs is pretty badly needed as well...

11. Yikes! Just noticed a couple of Christmas decs that are not yet put up! I'll fix that after another cup of coffee.

12. I'm not very happy with Lisa's presents. (to be precise: with the presents we have for her) She never wants much at all, which, ironically, makes it more difficult to buy for her.

13. Was just pondering the long, long journey we've been on since this time last year. Jerry Garcia said it best: "what a long, strange trip it's been..." Here's hoping for a boring year next year!

I have a full-on Christmas entry percolating, but just in case I don't get to that in time, MERRY CHRISTMAS! He was, He came, He lived, He taught, He died, He was raised, He left, and He's coming back! Maranatha!

Because of Christmas...and Easter,
bb

The Horror of Christmas...

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.
Philippians 2:3-17

(back to bb)
An amazing passage. Note the clear connection between Christ's emptying of Himself and the application to us. I find this passage incredibly challenging and humbling. The "Therefore" connects His "making Himself nothing" ("emptying Himself" in another translation) with how we should be because of his emptying & God's exaltation of Him.

Ponder that phrase: made Himself nothing.

Imagine the throneroom of heaven, with Jesus Christ in all of His glory seated at the right hand of His Father, being celebrated by the angels and the patriarchs from Old Testament days. And then, it happens...He stands up, removes His crown, takes off His robe, looks around one more time, looks His Father in the eye, and begins descending...all the way to a woman's womb.

For 33 or so years of earth time, the throne at the right hand of the Father is empty.

It gets worse.

At the end of those 33 years, He is separated from His Father by a greater distance than that from heaven's throneroom to the middle east. There, on a cross in a hill, God the Son is tortured to death by some of those whose hopeless estate prompted His leaving the throneroom in the first place. "My God, My God,...why have You forgotten me?!" The very essence of "made Himself nothing." Separation beyond any we can imagine. My sins...your sins...the sins of all humanity...our own hopeless estate....That is what caused the godhead to be separated first by the amazine distance between heaven's throneroom and earth, and then by the far, far greater distance between total holiness & perfection and complete sinfulness & depravity.

"For our sake He made Him to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God."
2 Cor 5:21

And there, ladies & gents, is the horror of the Christmas story. And its great glory. The angels sang...the shepherds marveled...Mary pondered & treasured...and Jesus was born. Under a shadow. Not just of candlelight flickering on a cave wall, but the shadow of a cross. And a grave. Born to die.

But now...His tomb is empty. His seat there in the celestial throneroom is occupied once again. The next time He leaves, He will come in triumphant, eternal victory.

The question of the season seems to be so what? Why should we, or anyone, care about all of this?

Paul gives an answer in the latter part of the passage from Philippians 2. Therefore... To conclude, how's your "therefore" doing? Need to tune up your "do nothing from rivalry or conceit"? How about your "looking to the interest of others"? What about your worship? (not just at a church Christmas musical...but your worship!) And that "grumbling & complaining"?

Some great news: it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. You & I don't have to grit our teeth, & bow up to get this done. Which is good news, as it turns out...because we can't bow up, grit our teeth, & get it done. Again, it is God who works in you...

As I say, it is a terribly convicting & challenging passage. And it absolutely is what the horror and the glory of Christmas is all about. As Christmas approaches, let the awesome wonder--and horror--of Philippians 2 soak into your soul. And let God work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure...

Selah.
bb

After 34 years...(long, heartfelt post alert!)

After 34 years...

I miss his laugh. He had a great sense of humor.

I miss talking Bama football with him. He never went to college, but was all Crimson & White in his loyalties. He took me to my first-ever bowl game in the rain in New Orleans. Alabama (naturally!) v. Notre Dame in the Sugar Bowl. Bear Bryant called it the best game he ever saw. It's certainly one of my faves too, but for different reasons...

I miss traveling with him. All 50 states...Canado...Mexico...Bahamas...England...France…Holland...Belgium...Germany...Italy...Switzerland.

I miss camping with him. On the long trips to AK & CA, but also the mini-trips over the weekend or during the week in the summer to Rocky Bayou & Ft. Pickens & Grayton Beach.

I miss hunting & fishing with him. We were never very good, but we caught & killed a few.

I miss throwing a football & a baseball & hitting a tennis ball & playing ping pong with him. I don't recall ever beating him in pong, now that I think of it...Also, I recall that he never hit a backhand in tennis; he’d switch the racket to his left hand & always hit a forehand.

I miss breakfast & supper with him. Because his wife & kids were so important to him, we ate as many meals together as possible. I also miss the pre-fishing breakfasts at Joe & Eddie's, & the Saturday morning Krispy Kreme runs, & the occasional summer-day lunch at McDonald's or Burger King.

I miss watching the nightly news with him & listening to his wise commentary. There are those in our culture who arrogantly say that only the well-educated are wise. They are wrong about other things too.

I miss hanging out after school at Madaris Printing & Office Supplies & asking a million questions. He always answered them. I have been a business school professor off & on for over 20 years now, perhaps because of becoming fascinated with business things years ago as a kid in the business he founded & ran so very well.

I miss going to church with him. We went often, and it very clearly (to all who knew him) meant something to him. I also miss him serving me the Lord's supper and keeping the 3-year-old nursery. Because I’m his son, I started going to church 9 months before I was born, for which I am so very grateful.

I miss his singing. Mostly Hank Williams (Senior, of course), with some Roy Acuff & some gospel thrown in, along with some hymns. (“In the Garden” was a favorite of his, as I recall) I still love Hank, and not just because he was great. I'll never hear Hank (or anyone else, for that matter) sing "Heeeeeey, Good Lookin'...Whaaaaaat You Got Cookin?" without seeing him sing it to my Mom in the kitchen in the morning with that great smile on his face & twinkle in his eye. Steel guitars? Love ‘em; especially the ones backing up Hank on “Your Cheatin’ Heart.”

I miss him holding hands with my Mom. Which he did frequently. (She misses it too! I so thankful that Leo also holds hands with her in public.)

I miss the feel of his 5:00 shadow when he would hug me. Which he also did frequently. Because of his physical affection, I totally & completely reject the bogus lie from hell that “real men don’t show affection.” Dad was a country boy who enjoyed hunting & fishing & who was a veteran of the tail end of WW2. And he hugged all the time. I do too, with apologies to nobody. If me hugging my son or a friend offends your masculinity, then yours is a false, bogus, immature, incomplete masculinity.

I miss him making fun of how we danced at school dances. “Y’all call that dancing? Y’all don’t know how to dance…”

I miss going to the beach with him. He loved the white sandy beaches of NW FL as I do.

I miss him cooking burgers & manning the concession stand for our high-school football games.

I miss the bright green jacket he always wore to do the above (our school colors were green & white). He was buried in that jacket.

I miss him picking out songs--correctly--on the piano, despite having no musical training & not being able to read music. What a great ear for music he had!

I miss how he loved & helped his widowed mother & his widowed sisters.

Oddly enough, as painfully as I miss all of these things, it is perhaps things undone that I miss the most. Things that will never be done this side of glory. Some of which--praise God--won't have to be done there in the land of the eternal dawn...
--him taking pictures of my prom date & me--receiving his congratulations on graduating from HS/college/grad school
--rejoicing with him over being admitted to college/grad school
--hearing him say "you played well" after a HS jazz band concert
--sharing the steps of my call to ministry & to part-time missions with him
--introducing Lisa Mixon to him...and later telling him that she's the one for me.
--helping each other with our tuxes at my wedding
--calling him & saying, "Dad, you have a grandson named James after you...Lisa's doing great!" (He really would’ve cried at that one)
--him helping me move & buy a house, & then visiting us there often
--calling him & saying "Dad, you have a granddaughter named Rebecca Anne...Lisa's doing great!"
--being greeted by him with a hug when I come home to visit
--going to Alabama games with him
--going to Ole Miss games with him proudly wearing his "Ole Miss Granddad" or his “Ole Miss Pharmacy” shirt next to me wearing my “Ole Miss Dad” shirt.
--sitting on his back porch--or mine--together and wordlessly watching the dawn & the sunset

Basically, I miss his affirming me and his welcoming me as a man. I miss those terribly, and need them greatly. All of us little boys need that affirmation & welcoming.

And I deeply miss getting the chance to tell him "Goodbye..."

If you’re wondering, after 34 years I still don’t have a very good answer to the big “why?” question. I’m pretty sure I won’t get that answer this side of glory. I’m OK with that, but I still wonder. Especially on this day.

After 34 years, the wound is still just barely...barely...short of being too great to bear. But the Bible says "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones." C. S. Lewis said that if we knew what God knows about death, we would clap our hands with joy at the passing of a believer. And I do...most of the time.

But today, on the 34th anniversary of his death, I am very nearly overcome with the synergistic pains of loss, memory, and longing. Also with the awareness of how very far I am from living up to the very high example he lived before me for 15 1/2 years.

I'll be OK. Truly, I will. But not just now. Just now, I remember. And long for that which cannot ever be. The affirmation and affection of a father. I'm pretty sure he would affirm, for he always did. But I'd still give up much that I have ever had to actually hear him do so. And for another hug & smile & "I'm proud of you, son."

One day, he'll again smile that smile that made the ladies of Lowndes County, AL (& one in particular from Coffee County, AL) go weak at the knees. He'll hug me and say, "Welcome home, son...It's great to see you." And together, we'll celebrate at the party to end all parties (literally!). And...thank God!...I will never have to say “goodbye” or “I miss you” again.

For now, though, Bye Dad. I still remember. Always will. Thanks! Merry Christmas!

With more love than I can fully capture,
Mike

echoes

There are echoes. Do you hear them?

They are always faint...but sometimes they are less so.

Christmas is such a time. The echoes seem to break through quite often this season. They are heard in the music. They are seen in the lights. They are heard in laughter of family around tables piled with mounds of food. They are heard in the stillness of the night and in the silence of the early morning. They can be heard in worship services. And in the quiet desolation of the cemetery. They are heard in the joy of young children. And in the loneliness of old children.

I hear them in all of these settings. Especially this time of year.

What are these echoes? They are several things. But they point ultimately to one thing...

They are the sounds of days gone by. Cherished days, fondly remembered. They are the sounds of tears shed at partings, some temporary, some permanent (at least in this life). They are the memories of love discovered. Of Family. Parents. Grandparents. Children. Friends. Holidays. Camping trips. Vacations. Songs sung. Jokes told. Words spoken. And those wistful "things I wish I'd said," as Rodney Crowell sang a few years back.

There are other echoes too. Echoes of longing. And of longings realized. And satisfied. Of redemption when it was new and fresh. Of forgiveness. Of the amazing grace we sing about so often.

In all of these, though, there are still other echoes. Of darkness. Shortcomings. Failures. Sins. Desperation. Hopelessness, or so it seemed. These are terribly painful to recall. So painful that one of the most treasured things is that promise so long ago that "their sins I will remember no more." What a promise!

It is there, that we hear the faintest and most foundational echo. So faint that it is rarely heard, and even more rarely comprehended. This faintest of echoes goes beyond our times...beyond our shortcomings & sins...beyond even that first Christmas. It goes farther back than the patriarchs and prophets, even.

It is the oh-so-faint echo of a garden long ago. A world unstained by pain...sin...loss...death. A garden in which man spoke with God face to face without fear, unmarred by sins (his own or those of mankind at large). This echo is so faint that we almost doubt that it exists. And yet, there it is, inescapable. Especially this time of year.

This echo rings in cries for justice in the face of injustice. It rings in cries for mercy. Those garden echoes and how we respond to them are foundational to our worldview.

Without that garden, we'd have no longing for its restoration. Without the sin we inherited from there--and then lived up to...or rather, down to...in our own right--we'd have no need of redemption. Without this faintest of echoes, there would be no Christmas, for there would've been no need for it.

There are echoes. Do you hear them?

bb

Christmas Songs Everyone Needs to Hear...

Ok, I admit it. I'm a Christmas goober. I love this season! Pretty much everything about it. (well, not so much the materialistic arms-race approach to buying & gatherings that so seem to have...but that's not what this post is about) I love the decorations: wreaths, lights, stockings, mistletoe, candles, Christmas trees...all of it. I love the family aspects in particular; as I write, James is about to head home from Oxford for a long (& well-deserved!) Christmas break. I can't wait! Anne & I will soon have a lunch @ either Red Lobster, Suwanna's, Rio Grande, or Crescent City Grill. Can't wait for that either! I love the friend aspects; catching up w/ former students over coffee, lunch w/ buddies,...And I hope it's obvious to my regular reader (smile) that I love the faith aspects. Watch this space for more on that.

But as I was just doing a bit of cleaning, I was listening to a very nice jazz guitar Christmas CD (Larry Carlton - Christmas at My House...highly recommended for chilled out Christmas music lovers...). In fact, I've been keeping the ipod hopping w/ Christmas music this week. This got me pondering my favorite Christmas music. Here goes...

Songs

Bethlehem Morning - The version I have is by Sandi Patti. This one makes, um, my allergies act up *sheepish grin* 100% of the time. This one makes me wish I had been sitting next to the author when he woke up that one morning in Israel & looked @ the sunrise over Bethlehem...

The Way He Came (Truth) - My allergies seem to act up frequently in this one too..."Just to think such royalty would come the way He came...no crowds, no throngs, no big parades..."


Christmas is All in the Heart (Steven Curtis Chapman) - ditto the allergies thing. Remembers Christmases past when he was a "little blond-headed dreamer", and carries that on to "Now I've my own little blond-headed dreamers..." Throat-filling material for me

Merry Christmas With Love (Sandi Patti) - Now this one is guaranteed to cause severe hay fever attacks...Christmas through the eyes of a senior adult lady who is alone at Christmas until her friends come caroling at her door. (dang...just writing that brought on an allergic reaction...)

I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm & Baby, It's Cold Outside - The one I have is Dean Martin singing; the CD is "Christmas w/ the Rat Pack;" the whole CD is great!

White Christmas (Bing Crosby, of course) - The biggest selling song (not just Christmas song btw) of all time, with good reason. Although, I've always said that it was written by someone who had never lived in snow...*smile* Snow's pretty & a lot of fun for about a half-hour; the rest of the time, it's a hassle. Still though, I do love this song.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (Chick Corea's Elektric Band) - A smokin'-hot fusion jazz version that is awesome.

Little Drummer Boy (Whiteheart) - A very nice hard rock-ish take on this song.

O Come, O Come Emmanuel - by anybody; the versions I listen to the most are those by Margaret Becker or by Selah. Slow & soulful, as this song was meant to be sung.

Carol of the Bells (David Benoit) - a very nice jazz piano rendition of this one. Aside: I also like Steven Curtis Chapman's fast acoustic guitar rendition.

Joseph's Lullaby (Mercy Me) - interesting idea to examine the most unexamined character in the Christmas story.

The Christmas Song (Nat King Cole) - great performance by one of the great singers

Silver Bells (Dean Martin)

I'll Be Home for Christmas (Frank Sinatra) - possibly the saddest Christmas song; I remember that 1st Christmas when a job kept me in Tuscaloosa all by my lonesome. This song clicked pretty good w/ me that time...

O Come, All Ye Faithful - the version I love is done by 3 ladies on a hammered dulcimer, a harp, and a flute. The result is great!

Once Upon a Christmas (Selah, with Dolly Parton) - this is a song Dolly wrote, and she sits in w/ Selah. Love it!

Every Valley Shall Be Exalted - The version I love is the jumpin' funk version by Larnelle Harris, one of the great singers around. It's on "Handel's New Young Messiah" and gets heavy airplay @ casa beach bum.

Surely He Hath Borne Our Griefs - again, Handel's New Young Messiah. This one is sung by Steve Green, Larnelle Harris, and Michael English. With those three teaming up, it is incredible.

(Note: the previous two Handel songs are not necessarily Christmas songs, but that's when they get played the most.)

Albums
Diana Krall's Christmas CD
Christmas w/ the Rat Pack
Nat King Cole's Christmas CD
Steven Curtis Chapman's Christmas CD
Young Messiah
Soulful Messiah
Sandi Patti's Christmas CD
Larry Carlton - Christmas at My House (aforementioned jazz guitar...very pleasant!)

There are others, but that's a good start at pondering some Christmas songs & albums everyone needs to hear. (My ipod has something like 350 Christmas songs on it...a sure signal of Christmas goober-hood!)

What are you listening to this season?

Yikes!!

I utterly forgot to update this blog about my trip to Houston! A thousand pardons!

Test results were good. I had a P.E.T. scan, 3 different CT scans, a chest xray, and bloodwork. Good results, as I say.

In addition, we hit all of the good eateries, which is an all-too-important part of the trip.... (a) Gringo's Tex-Mex...(b) Dimassi's Mediterranean Buffett...(c) our new find, the donut shop near Friendswood run by a Vietnamese family. (Is it bad that our trips are judged by the eateries visited? Oh well...)

My Monday out there was zero fun sir! No breakfast...no coffee...no lunch...all of those tests/scans...But oh man, was Gringo's good that night! *smile*

A rather nice visit w/ Dr. Homsi.... I realized that this was my first visit there with me as a pretty healthy guy. On all of the previous (many) visits, I've had cancer, or (early) we didn't know what it was. This one, well, it approached routine in terms of my health...

Anyway, so very sorry to leave my regular reader hanging...*grin*

Thanks for your prayers!!
Mike

p.s. - Roll Tide anyway! My love of my Crimson Tide football team is not dependent on a particular game's (or season's) outcome. The better team won yesterday, although it was certainly not the cakewalk almost everyone predicted. At any rate, I am proud of my team. 12-1 & Sugar Bowl bound is not too shabby...Bama graduates a grand total of 9 seniors off of this team. Recruiting is going well. The future is bright for us Crimson Tide types! (with all of that said, I wore Crimson when we lost 6 Iron Bowls in a row...and 5 in a row to LSU...and several in a row to Tennessee...and when we had losing records for the season. I did not switch allegiance to some other team who was winning more; fans don't do that. Congrats to the Gators, and Roll Tide!

Some wants I've been pondering...

...these are in no particular order of significance. They are in the order of "Mike's random mind processes came up w/ them this way"...)

I want to go to seminary.
I want to go to Vietnam & India & China.
I want to write a book.
I want to surprise my wife with a car one Christmas morning.
I want to replace the windows in my house.
I want to tear down & rebuild the deck at my house.
I want to complete the Chartered Financial Analyst certification.
I want to publish more academic articles.
I want to learn Polish. Or perhaps Russian.
I want to spend a month on an island in the Carribean with my family.
I want to take my family to Alaska.
I want to take my family to New York City and more broadly to New England.
I want to achieve tenure at a university. And be promoted to associate professor.
I want to take some WCU students overseas on study trips.
I want to see my children and my nieces & nephews succeed and become contributing members of society.
I want to impact the world...my world...for Christ.
I want to finish well.

Selah,
bb

If all the universe and everything in it exists by the design of an infinite, personal God,
to make his manifold glory known
and loved,then to treat any subject

without reference to God's glory

is not scholarship but insurrection.

—John Piper, God's Passion for His Glory, p. 43.

(back to Mike)
And there, ladies & gents, is why we who claim to be followers of Christ must give some serious thought & prayer to the totality of our lives.

Our jobs...our family life...our hobbies...our travels...our finances...to do otherwise is, well, insurrection, to use Piper's well-placed word.

Let us not be guilty of insurrection this week!

bb

Thankful for the Storms...

See that picture? *points up* That's taken from Mom's back yard, looking almost due south. The beaches of Ft. Walton Beach are faintly available past all of the boathouses on the Bay. See those nasty clouds rolling in? When that storm hit, it was hard to see anything. A very loud frog-strangler. Ugly and dangerous.

But here's the thing: the storm & those clouds did not change the breathtaking beauty of Ft. Walton Beach and of the view from Mom's back yard. It obscured the view & veiled the beauty for a season, but it didn't...it couldn't...change them.

That is what I'm thankful for this year most of all.

When a huge, nasty storm comes--like, say, stage 4 cancer--it seems that the core essence of the world and--dare I say it?--of God Himself have changed. Become malevolent. Gone away, even.

Ever feel like that? Well, I bring you good news: major life storms--like, say, stage 4 cancer--do not change God and His relationship with the world. With us. With me. Sure, His beauty and glory and grandeur and love and all may seem veiled...but they most assuredly are there.

I recently heard these words coming out of my mouth: "I'm so thankful for this year and for cancer..." In a flash, I thought I had gone nuts. In that same flash, I realized that I hadn't (well, not based on that anyway...; )...) I am grateful for this year, and even for cancer.

Look back at the photo. When storms like that come, don't they make you long for the view as you know it is? Don't they make the mental image of the view you know is there come more clearly into focus? And, oh my...don't they make you appreciate the sunny, storm-free days? That view from Mom's backyard is one of my favorite places on the planet. I'd love to have a dollar for every minute I've spent just sitting there out back and enjoying the vista and thinking. Storms like the one in the picture...or like stage 4 cancer...make me appreciate the view all the more.

I also heard these words coming out of my mouth recently: "I've never felt the presence of Jehovah Shammah--the Lord Who is Present--as I did in the room there in M.D. Anderson's ICU." So, yeah...I'm thankful for the blinding, dangerous, nasty storm of cancer. For because of it, I see the essence...the goodness...of my Lord more than ever before. (I'd have been delighted to have seen that goodness and experienced that tender presence through other means than cancer, surgery, & immunotherapy, of course...but I'm not a good enough writer to fully capture how much I treasure what the Lord taught me and showed me this past summer.)

I hope I'll never be the same again. Pray with me to that end, won't you?

Digging the storms,
Mike

p.s. - some other more tangible things I'm oh-so-grateful for this year: my wife. my children. my extended family. my friends. my absent friends & family who have experienced the ultimate healing. (J--save me a cup of coffee up there, will ya?), my church. the church (capital C...the entire Body of Christ). my job. my boss. my co-workers. my students (many of whom become my friends). the ability to read. technology that helps me reconnect with friends and make new ones. speaking opportunities that allow me to share some of the veiled goodness of my Lord...

p.p.s. - Some things & people for which I'm thankful that warrant their own list: my amazing Drs.:
Robbins (family practice...a friend & fellow church member besides being my primary care Dr.)
Bellare (oncology - H'burg...a friend for years before becoming my Dr.)
Morrow (cardiology - Mobile...my cousin & friend besides being my Dr.)
Homsi & Hwu (medical melanoma - M.D. Anderson)
Kim (medical thoracic - MDA; recommended & arranged VATS)
Mehran (thoracic surgery - MDA)
medical technology - VATS, ct scans, P.E.T. scans, needle biopsy (ok...that one's the most difficult to be thankful for...), bloodwork. IVs, immunotherapy,...

p.p.p.s. - My pilgrim name is Bartholomew Alden, which is a pretty cool name! ; ) What's yours?